IS BOOTS A HOMEBOY

After close overnight observation, Irish and Bill met on Saturday to discuss the re-application of Boots to become a homeboy. Never in the history of homeboys has anyone been able to re-apply but the committee decided to make an exception in this case. To refresh you on the rules keeping in mind that to become a homeboy you must earn at least 20 points:

1. Know the definition of Homeboy: A homeboy is a friend. Someone you can kick it with. A person who always has your back. You can’t go through life without a homeboy. A slang term for “dawg”.
I spent the weekend kickin' with my buddies Bill and Irish. I did whatever they asked and never complained once. 5 points

2. Be unafraid of the water: A homeboy must be able to swim, dive, or at minimum soak on the first step for hours on end. Look at me, Mr. Water Dog. Despite a run in with a pitbull, I managed to run with the boys (as opposed to running with the bulls. not ever gonna run with the bulls. Bulls big and have pointy things coming out of their heads. Dog vs bull never gonna happen, dog too smart. Human vs bull, happens once a year , bull smarter than human) 10 points

3. Understand that no matter what, the ball comes first When playing with toys, a homeboy can play with all of them but if there is a ball, make sure that the ball stays with you at all times and at all costs. Never, and I repeat, never, give up the ball to another dog even if s/he is part of the posse.
Never touch the ball unless Irish says it is okay. He never said it was okay. I never touched the ball. 10 points

4. Cloth and other soft toys are for wimps
A homeboy should be wary of soft toys so if your owner gives you one, play with it for a short time to amuse your owner, then sneak off to a quiet corner and shred that thing until there is nothing left. If you are not in the mood to shred, package up the toy and send it to a teacup poodle.
We watched a wannabe golden mix (or maybe lab mix) with his toy. Didn't take his toy as it was a ball and not cloth. Seemed okay to let him have it. If it had been cloth, we would have shredded it. 5 points

5. Cookies and ice cubes are to be shared
If you get a cookie or an ice cube, break it up and share it with your homeboy. Never eat the whole cookie yourself as it makes your homeboy sad.
I followed Bill all over the house. Everytime he started chewing on a toy, I took it from him. Finally Bill said to me "Rule #5" and walked away. Rule #5 what does that mean...... ah oh then I remembered. I brought him a bone and didn't take it away from him. Whew I almost blew that one. 1 point

6. If your owner gives you a command, think about it before you do it.
A homeboy always thinks about a command before he does it. Your owner is human afterall and can always change his/her mind. Waiting allows your owner the time to think about whether s/he really wants the command performed and prevents you from doing unnecessary work.

I have perfected my thinking stare. I steadfastly refuse to do a command unless I feel like it.....Okay not really, I love doing my commands and will do any of them sometimes even all of them with just a simple "hi boots how are you". I need to learn more self control.... Is that a rule? 2 points

7. Ugly faces are never acceptable
A homeboy never shows his teeth when playing with other dogs. Doing so will result in a "no ugly faces" reprimand and could get you some serious time out. Smiling is permitted and is not considered an ugly face.

How can you possibly do an ugly face when you are hanging out with Bill? He always makes me laugh. 5 points

8. Going to a restaurant is a privilege, not a right
While a homeboy might think it is fun to "hoover up" everything that was left under the table by previous diners, this might result in a tummy ache and will most definately curtail your restaurant visits in the future.

Restaurants? Who needs restaurants when you are a star like I am? I am still a gobbler of food on the floor but isn't there some sort of 10 second rule? Isn't it free game if a human doesn't claim it immediately? 0 points.

9. Practice tolerance
Not all dogs are as smart and handsome as a homeboy. It takes a special dog to be a homeboy so make sure that you are polite to every dog you meet. You never know when you might run across a homeboy from a different hood.
I stopped sitting on Bill's head and I let him have control over the couch even though it was cold and lonely on the floor.

Oh and before you call the ASPCA, I chose the floor as I was soooooo tired I couldn't even make it up to the couch let alone jump on it but don't tell Bill

10. Homeboys never dis other homeboys
Homeboys have a tough time with this rule and it is the hardest one to adhere to because we all know that dogs rule, cats drool....oops I digressed. While a homeboy might be tempted to subject another homeboy to ridicule, this never works out in the long run and will result in yet longer time outs than dished out in rule #7. I am a Canine Good Citizen but I am sorry I know I am not supposed to slurp Bill or lay on him but I love him. He's my BFF

So now we wait....Irish cast his vote yesterday and we are waiting for Bill. Oh that's right is a secret ballot......Wait, what do I see? It is smoke coming out of the chimney at Camp Cedar. That can mean only one thing

Notorius B.I.L and I-Man are pleased to welcome the newest homeboy.

Scooter P or Suga B: Boots can't decide. But maybe the posse or you blog folks can.

CONGRATULATIONS BOOTS YOU MADE IT.